Kelly Clarkson, A Month Premature...

As much as I hate to admit it, I got goosebumps of excitement when I heard that Kelly Clarkson's new album, All I Ever Wanted, had leaked. Through my magical powers that have absolutely nothing to do with illegal internet downloading (don't worry about it, Tufts), I have obtained the album and thankfully, it bears a much closer resembles to 2004's Breakaway than her shitfest of an album formally known as My December. Overall, it's pretty much what you'd expect from a solid Kelly release (we're on a first name basis). After a couple listens, "I Do Not Hook Up," originally recorded by Katy Perry, is a clear standout. Though I'm usually against faux femine empowerment songs that harp on about the virtues of prudity (lyrics include "I do not hook up up, I go slow...I fall deep"), it's so goddamn catchy that I'm willing to overlook it. "Don't Let Me Stop You" has a chorus as fantastic and catchy as its verses are awful, while the title track, "All I Ever Wanted" is, as a whole, underwhelming. I will note, however, how similar its guitar line is to that of Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out," and the melody of its chorus to the Backstreet Boys "As Long As You Love Me" (that last observation may or may not be true). "If I Can't Have You" proves that Clarkson's management was definitely taking notes from Britney's Circus album, while "Long Shot" could easily pass for Katy Perry at her best. The hidden gem of this album, "Ready," lets Kelly's flawless vocals float effortlessly above an arrangement that sits somewhere in between those of Sheryl Crow and Feist. For a good laugh, check out "Whyyawannabringmedown," Clarkson's hot mess of an attempt to pull off a song more aptly suited for the White Stripes or Be Your Own Pet. As a whole, I'll say that it's a solid release, and one that I can safely assume I will hate within two months of Z100 playing it 3-5 times every hour on the hour.